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Matchmaker Abeer Ayaz, left; Beyond Chai co-founder and CEO Asad Ansari, center; and matchmaker Sadia Khan, right, discuss whom to set one of their matchmaking clients up with at a team meeting in Tysons.
(Julie Zauzmer/The Washington Post) When Sumayyah Baig’s family and friends tried to set her up with eligible Muslim men she might marry, they focused on all sorts of attributes: the men’s professions, their family backgrounds, their ethnicity. All she wanted was a person she would click with, who would share her values. I just wanted them to have the same belief system,” she said.
When sparks finally flew for Baig and a man with whom she was matched, it wasn’t over a traditional coffee at her parents’ house — it was on Snapchat.
The topics range from dating in Turkey, hiding relationships from parents, eight-year courtships, the engagement contract, an impromptu proposal in a roadside ditch, modernizing traditions and working wives who are separated from their husbands in school, and even the story of a Catholic convert marrying a Somali woman.
All of these are available for you to listen here on Inside Islam: Dialogue and Debates.
After the initial introduction, some families grant the prospective groom and bride a chance to meet in private, under supervision; others allow them to get to know each other on the telephone, via text or email.
Some families encourage the potential couple to go out in public, usually in a group setting.
Before any potential candidates are considered, families as a unit decide the values and characteristics that potential spouses should have so the couple have a satisfying life together.